Assignment Prompt & Instructions
Follow instructions uploaded
**files (2)**
– ## ResponsesInstructions.docx
– ## ReplytoAshley.docx
**## ResponsesInstructions.docx**
EDCO 811
**Discussion Response Instructions**
The student must then post 1 reply of at least 350 words. Each reply must incorporate at least 1 scholarly citation in current APA format. Any sources cited must have been published within the last 12 years. Acceptable sources include our textbooks, scholarly articles, and the Bible.
**## ReplytoAshley.docx**
**Ashley Moultrie**
Jul 26 3:32pm| Last reply Jul 27 9:26am
Reply from Ashley Moultrie
When I think about the factors that create a good marriage I cannot narrow it down to just one as there are many things that much come together in order to create a good marriage. As I watched Dr. Scalise's lecture, one of the things that I believed was extremely important is investing time in your marriage. The example that he gave of the olive tree really stood out because it was a great depiction of how healthy growth does not happen overnight. The olive growers have to spend years working on strengthening the roots of the olive tree before they can expect to get fruit from it. This really does resonate with me when I think about how marriage works. You cannot think that you are going to get married and start out with a strong marriage from day one. Marriage takes time and is built by being intentional and consistent. You have to be willing to put in the work and invest time in your spouse and vice versa. Even when life starts to get busy as most of us know from being in a doctoral program, working full time, and taking care of a family, you have to prioritize things and invest time and energy into your marriage if you want it to last.
As mother, therapist, and a doctoral student, I completely understand how easy it is to be distracted with work, school, finances, children, and everyday responsibilities. I understand and have witnessed how easy it is to be so busy that you lose sight of things and start to prioritize things over a relationship. I do not believe that anyone wakes up with the intention of being disconnected from their partner. However, the emotional distance that is often created when we allow life to get in the way can start to pull a couple apart when we are not intentional about making time and space for our loved ones. According to an article by Jiao et al. (2026), when couples spend quality time together it was noted that higher quality time was associated with a higher level of positive conflict in the relationship and there was a decrease in negative conflict seen. I have worked with couples and when we built quality time into their treatment plan, I have seen a decrease in the number of arguments that they have. I have noticed that often they begin to communicate and are on the same page more. Working with couples I do find that they often really love one another, but when they are replacing quality time with creating schedules and taking care of responsibilities, it creates a wedge that can begin to slowly pull them apart. Quality time and being intentional helps to create emotional safety and build trust and connection that can strengthen the relationship as a whole.
Watching the lection Dr. Scalise supports this as he explained that great marriages need to have time being intentionally invested. This also is strongly connected to Chapman's part in the book The 5 Love Languages as he discusses how we go from the excitement of being in love to choosing real love (Chapman, G., 2015). Understanding that when you first fall in love with someone it is that feeling of excitement that comes and makes you all excited. It is the butterflies that you feel when you see them and the flutters that you feel when you think about them. But after being with them for years it should shift to being more about creating a love that is going to last and that requires a daily decision to be intentional and show up for your partner no matter what. This takes work and requires you to spend time with them and truly build a strong foundation together. It requires sacrifice and being intentional as the stress of daily life comes to you. A great example of this using the information from the book The 5 Love Languages is that if your parter values quality time but the other person values gifts, there can be an unintentional disconnect. Being intentional is knowing what makes your partner feel loved and making an intentional effort to understand their needs and put forth the effort to do them. So, this would be making a point to show up and spend time with them and not just buy them gifts. While gifts are nice if that is not what they value, then you have to make a point to meet your partner’s needs and not do things your own way.
Looking at the research on connections and investing time it really supports how much being intentional is necessary to have a healthy marriage. According to Johnson et al. (2022) the study that was completed found that couples that practice healthy communication had a greater relationship satisfaction rate. This makes sense because when you spend time with your partner and really focus on them and communicate with them in a respectful manner it helps to build the connections between the two individuals. Life happens so when things come up and we lose sight of what we know we should be doing there are great tools to help pull us back together. According to Mendoza and Leeth (2025) Emotion Focused Therapy can be a great tool to help work on communication and emotional connection by helping to teach healthy communication patterns and responsive interactions. The more you build emotional safety through using the tools, spending quality time, and being intentional with one another you create a safe space for both people to be vulnerable and create lasting change.
From a Christian perspective, spending time and being intentional in marriage is the way that God designed marriage. According to Ecclesiastes 4:9–10 (New International Version, 2011), " Two are better than one, because they can help each other succeed and support one another in times of trouble." The bible teaches us to love our spouse as Christ loved the church and gave His life for it. We must make our spouse a priority even when life gets hard. We must be intentional about making room for them in our lives. The consistency of it will help to create a strong foundation and will help keep us strong even when things start to get in the way. We will be able to hold one another accountable and communicate in a manner that will help the marriage last.
**References**
Jiao, C., Yun, H. J., Turner, K., et al. (2026). Strengthening relationships: The role of quality time and perceived perspective-taking in resolving conflicts among married couples.
_Contemporary Family Therapy, 48_, 147–158.
[https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10591-025-09760-0](https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10591-025-09760-0)
Johnson, M. D., Lavner, J. A., Mund, M., Zemp, M., Stanley, S. M., Neyer, F. J., Impett, E. A., Rhoades, G. K., Bodenmann, G., Weidmann, R., Bühler, J. L., Burriss, R. P., Wünsche, J., & Grob, A. (2022). Within-couple associations between communication and relationship satisfaction over time.
_Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 48_(4), 534–549.
[https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/01461672211016920](https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/01461672211016920)
Mendoza, A., & Leeth, C. K. (2025). A relational approach to emotionally focused therapy.
_The Family Journal, 33_(3), 331–337.
[https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/10664807251318969](https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/10664807251318969)
Lebow, J.L., & Snyder, D.K. (2023). Clinical handbook of couple therapy (6th ed.). New York, NY: The Guilford Press. ISBN: 9781462550128.
Chapman, G. (2015). The 5 Love Languages: The secret to love that lasts. Chicago: Northfield Publishing. ISBN: 9780802412706
The Holy Bible, New International Version. (2011). Zondervan.
**## ReplytoAshley.docx**
**Ashley Moultrie**
Jul 26 3:32pm| Last reply Jul 27 9:26am
Reply from Ashley Moultrie
When I think about the factors that create a good marriage I cannot narrow it down to just one as there are many things that much come together in order to create a good marriage. As I watched Dr. Scalise's lecture, one of the things that I believed was extremely important is investing time in your marriage. The example that he gave of the olive tree really stood out because it was a great depiction of how healthy growth does not happen overnight. The olive growers have to spend years working on strengthening the roots of the olive tree before they can expect to get fruit from it. This really does resonate with me when I think about how marriage works. You cannot think that you are going to get married and start out with a strong marriage from day one. Marriage takes time and is built by being intentional and consistent. You have to be willing to put in the work and invest time in your spouse and vice versa. Even when life starts to get busy as most of us know from being in a doctoral program, working full time, and taking care of a family, you have to prioritize things and invest time and energy into your marriage if you want it to last.
As mother, therapist, and a doctoral student, I completely understand how easy it is to be distracted with work, school, finances, children, and everyday responsibilities. I understand and have witnessed how easy it is to be so busy that you lose sight of things and start to prioritize things over a relationship. I do not believe that anyone wakes up with the intention of being disconnected from their partner. However, the emotional distance that is often created when we allow life to get in the way can start to pull a couple apart when we are not intentional about making time and space for our loved ones. According to an article by Jiao et al. (2026), when couples spend quality time together it was noted that higher quality time was associated with a higher level of positive conflict in the relationship and there was a decrease in negative conflict seen. I have worked with couples and when we built quality time into their treatment plan, I have seen a decrease in the number of arguments that they have. I have noticed that often they begin to communicate and are on the same page more. Working with couples I do find that they often really love one another, but when they are replacing quality time with creating schedules and taking care of responsibilities, it creates a wedge that can begin to slowly pull them apart. Quality time and being intentional helps to create emotional safety and build trust and connection that can strengthen the relationship as a whole.
Watching the lection Dr. Scalise supports this as he explained that great marriages need to have time being intentionally invested. This also is strongly connected to Chapman's part in the book The 5 Love Languages as he discusses how we go from the excitement of being in love to choosing real love (Chapman, G., 2015). Understanding that when you first fall in love with someone it is that feeling of excitement that comes and makes you all excited. It is the butterflies that you feel when you see them and the flutters that you feel when you think about them. But after being with them for years it should shift to being more about creating a love that is going to last and that requires a daily decision to be intentional and show up for your partner no matter what. This takes work and requires you to spend time with them and truly build a strong foundation together. It requires sacrifice and being intentional as the stress of daily life comes to you. A great example of this using the information from the book The 5 Love Languages is that if your parter values quality time but the other person values gifts, there can be an unintentional disconnect. Being intentional is knowing what makes your partner feel loved and making an intentional effort to understand their needs and put forth the effort to do them. So, this would be making a point to show up and spend time with them and not just buy them gifts. While gifts are nice if that is not what they value, then you have to make a point to meet your partner’s needs and not do things your own way.
Looking at the research on connections and investing time it really supports how much being intentional is necessary to have a healthy marriage. According to Johnson et al. (2022) the study that was completed found that couples that practice healthy communication had a greater relationship satisfaction rate. This makes sense because when you spend time with your partner and really focus on them and communicate with them in a respectful manner it helps to build the connections between the two individuals. Life happens so when things come up and we lose sight of what we know we should be doing there are great tools to help pull us back together. According to Mendoza and Leeth (2025) Emotion Focused Therapy can be a great tool to help work on communication and emotional connection by helping to teach healthy communication patterns and responsive interactions. The more you build emotional safety through using the tools, spending quality time, and being intentional with one another you create a safe space for both people to be vulnerable and create lasting change.
From a Christian perspective, spending time and being intentional in marriage is the way that God designed marriage. According to Ecclesiastes 4:9–10 (New International Version, 2011), " Two are better than one, because they can help each other succeed and support one another in times of trouble." The bible teaches us to love our spouse as Christ loved the church and gave His life for it. We must make our spouse a priority even when life gets hard. We must be intentional about making room for them in our lives. The consistency of it will help to create a strong foundation and will help keep us strong even when things start to get in the way. We will be able to hold one another accountable and communicate in a manner that will help the marriage last.
**References**
Jiao, C., Yun, H. J., Turner, K., et al. (2026). Strengthening relationships: The role of quality time and perceived perspective-taking in resolving conflicts among married couples.
_Contemporary Family Therapy, 48_, 147–158.
[https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10591-025-09760-0](https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10591-025-09760-0)
Johnson, M. D., Lavner, J. A., Mund, M., Zemp, M., Stanley, S. M., Neyer, F. J., Impett, E. A., Rhoades, G. K., Bodenmann, G., Weidmann, R., Bühler, J. L., Burriss, R. P., Wünsche, J., & Grob, A. (2022). Within-couple associations between communication and relationship satisfaction over time.
_Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 48_(4), 534–549.
[https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/01461672211016920](https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/01461672211016920)
Mendoza, A., & Leeth, C. K. (2025). A relational approach to emotionally focused therapy.
_The Family Journal, 33_(3), 331–337.
[https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/10664807251318969](https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/10664807251318969)
Lebow, J.L., & Snyder, D.K. (2023). Clinical handbook of couple therapy (6th ed.). New York, NY: The Guilford Press. ISBN: 9781462550128.
Chapman, G. (2015). The 5 Love Languages: The secret to love that lasts. Chicago: Northfield Publishing. ISBN: 9780802412706
The Holy Bible, New International Version. (2011). Zondervan.
**## ResponsesInstructions.docx**
EDCO 811
**Discussion Response Instructions**
The student must then post 1 reply of at least 350 words. Each reply must incorporate at least 1 scholarly citation in current APA format. Any sources cited must have been published within the last 12 years. Acceptable sources include our textbooks, scholarly articles, and the Bible.
**## ReplytoAshley.docx**
**Ashley Moultrie**
Jul 26 3:32pm| Last reply Jul 27 9:26am
Reply from Ashley Moultrie
When I think about the factors that create a good marriage I cannot narrow it down to just one as there are many things that much come together in order to create a good marriage. As I watched Dr. Scalise's lecture, one of the things that I believed was extremely important is investing time in your marriage. The example that he gave of the olive tree really stood out because it was a great depiction of how healthy growth does not happen overnight. The olive growers have to spend years working on strengthening the roots of the olive tree before they can expect to get fruit from it. This really does resonate with me when I think about how marriage works. You cannot think that you are going to get married and start out with a strong marriage from day one. Marriage takes time and is built by being intentional and consistent. You have to be willing to put in the work and invest time in your spouse and vice versa. Even when life starts to get busy as most of us know from being in a doctoral program, working full time, and taking care of a family, you have to prioritize things and invest time and energy into your marriage if you want it to last.
As mother, therapist, and a doctoral student, I completely understand how easy it is to be distracted with work, school, finances, children, and everyday responsibilities. I understand and have witnessed how easy it is to be so busy that you lose sight of things and start to prioritize things over a relationship. I do not believe that anyone wakes up with the intention of being disconnected from their partner. However, the emotional distance that is often created when we allow life to get in the way can start to pull a couple apart when we are not intentional about making time and space for our loved ones. According to an article by Jiao et al. (2026), when couples spend quality time together it was noted that higher quality time was associated with a higher level of positive conflict in the relationship and there was a decrease in negative conflict seen. I have worked with couples and when we built quality time into their treatment plan, I have seen a decrease in the number of arguments that they have. I have noticed that often they begin to communicate and are on the same page more. Working with couples I do find that they often really love one another, but when they are replacing quality time with creating schedules and taking care of responsibilities, it creates a wedge that can begin to slowly pull them apart. Quality time and being intentional helps to create emotional safety and build trust and connection that can strengthen the relationship as a whole.
Watching the lection Dr. Scalise supports this as he explained that great marriages need to have time being intentionally invested. This also is strongly connected to Chapman's part in the book The 5 Love Languages as he discusses how we go from the excitement of being in love to choosing real love (Chapman, G., 2015). Understanding that when you first fall in love with someone it is that feeling of excitement that comes and makes you all excited. It is the butterflies that you feel when you see them and the flutters that you feel when you think about them. But after being with them for years it should shift to being more about creating a love that is going to last and that requires a daily decision to be intentional and show up for your partner no matter what. This takes work and requires you to spend time with them and truly build a strong foundation together. It requires sacrifice and being intentional as the stress of daily life comes to you. A great example of this using the information from the book The 5 Love Languages is that if your parter values quality time but the other person values gifts, there can be an unintentional disconnect. Being intentional is knowing what makes your partner feel loved and making an intentional effort to understand their needs and put forth the effort to do them. So, this would be making a point to show up and spend time with them and not just buy them gifts. While gifts are nice if that is not what they value, then you have to make a point to meet your partner’s needs and not do things your own way.
Looking at the research on connections and investing time it really supports how much being intentional is necessary to have a healthy marriage. According to Johnson et al. (2022) the study that was completed found that couples that practice healthy communication had a greater relationship satisfaction rate. This makes sense because when you spend time with your partner and really focus on them and communicate with them in a respectful manner it helps to build the connections between the two individuals. Life happens so when things come up and we lose sight of what we know we should be doing there are great tools to help pull us back together. According to Mendoza and Leeth (2025) Emotion Focused Therapy can be a great tool to help work on communication and emotional connection by helping to teach healthy communication patterns and responsive interactions. The more you build emotional safety through using the tools, spending quality time, and being intentional with one another you create a safe space for both people to be vulnerable and create lasting change.
From a Christian perspective, spending time and being intentional in marriage is the way that God designed marriage. According to Ecclesiastes 4:9–10 (New International Version, 2011), " Two are better than one, because they can help each other succeed and support one another in times of trouble." The bible teaches us to love our spouse as Christ loved the church and gave His life for it. We must make our spouse a priority even when life gets hard. We must be intentional about making room for them in our lives. The consistency of it will help to create a strong foundation and will help keep us strong even when things start to get in the way. We will be able to hold one another accountable and communicate in a manner that will help the marriage last.
**References**
Jiao, C., Yun, H. J., Turner, K., et al. (2026). Strengthening relationships: The role of quality time and perceived perspective-taking in resolving conflicts among married couples.
_Contemporary Family Therapy, 48_, 147–158.
[https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10591-025-09760-0](https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10591-025-09760-0)
Johnson, M. D., Lavner, J. A., Mund, M., Zemp, M., Stanley, S. M., Neyer, F. J., Impett, E. A., Rhoades, G. K., Bodenmann, G., Weidmann, R., Bühler, J. L., Burriss, R. P., Wünsche, J., & Grob, A. (2022). Within-couple associations between communication and relationship satisfaction over time.
_Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 48_(4), 534–549.
[https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/01461672211016920](https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/01461672211016920)
Mendoza, A., & Leeth, C. K. (2025). A relational approach to emotionally focused therapy.
_The Family Journal, 33_(3), 331–337.
[https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/10664807251318969](https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/10664807251318969)
Lebow, J.L., & Snyder, D.K. (2023). Clinical handbook of couple therapy (6th ed.). New York, NY: The Guilford Press. ISBN: 9781462550128.
Chapman, G. (2015). The 5 Love Languages: The secret to love that lasts. Chicago: Northfield Publishing. ISBN: 9780802412706
The Holy Bible, New International Version. (2011). Zondervan.
**## ResponsesInstructions.docx**
EDCO 811
**Discussion Response Instructions**
The student must then post 1 reply of at least 350 words. Each reply must incorporate at least 1 scholarly citation in current APA format. Any sources cited must have been published within the last 12 years. Acceptable sources include our textbooks, scholarly articles, and the Bible.
**## ReplytoAshley.docx**
**Ashley Moultrie**
Jul 26 3:32pm| Last reply Jul 27 9:26am
Reply from Ashley Moultrie
When I think about the factors that create a good marriage I cannot narrow it down to just one as there are many things that much come together in order to create a good marriage. As I watched Dr. Scalise's lecture, one of the things that I believed was extremely important is investing time in your marriage. The example that he gave of the olive tree really stood out because it was a great depiction of how healthy growth does not happen overnight. The olive growers have to spend years working on strengthening the roots of the olive tree before they can expect to get fruit from it. This really does resonate with me when I think about how marriage works. You cannot think that you are going to get married and start out with a strong marriage from day one. Marriage takes time and is built by being intentional and consistent. You have to be willing to put in the work and invest time in your spouse and vice versa. Even when life starts to get busy as most of us know from being in a doctoral program, working full time, and taking care of a family, you have to prioritize things and invest time and energy into your marriage if you want it to last.
As mother, therapist, and a doctoral student, I completely understand how easy it is to be distracted with work, school, finances, children, and everyday responsibilities. I understand and have witnessed how easy it is to be so busy that you lose sight of things and start to prioritize things over a relationship. I do not believe that anyone wakes up with the intention of being disconnected from their partner. However, the emotional distance that is often created when we allow life to get in the way can start to pull a couple apart when we are not intentional about making time and space for our loved ones. According to an article by Jiao et al. (2026), when couples spend quality time together it was noted that higher quality time was associated with a higher level of positive conflict in the relationship and there was a decrease in negative conflict seen. I have worked with couples and when we built quality time into their treatment plan, I have seen a decrease in the number of arguments that they have. I have noticed that often they begin to communicate and are on the same page more. Working with couples I do find that they often really love one another, but when they are replacing quality time with creating schedules and taking care of responsibilities, it creates a wedge that can begin to slowly pull them apart. Quality time and being intentional helps to create emotional safety and build trust and connection that can strengthen the relationship as a whole.
Watching the lection Dr. Scalise supports this as he explained that great marriages need to have time being intentionally invested. This also is strongly connected to Chapman's part in the book The 5 Love Languages as he discusses how we go from the excitement of being in love to choosing real love (Chapman, G., 2015). Understanding that when you first fall in love with someone it is that feeling of excitement that comes and makes you all excited. It is the butterflies that you feel when you see them and the flutters that you feel when you think about them. But after being with them for years it should shift to being more about creating a love that is going to last and that requires a daily decision to be intentional and show up for your partner no matter what. This takes work and requires you to spend time with them and truly build a strong foundation together. It requires sacrifice and being intentional as the stress of daily life comes to you. A great example of this using the information from the book The 5 Love Languages is that if your parter values quality time but the other person values gifts, there can be an unintentional disconnect. Being intentional is knowing what makes your partner feel loved and making an intentional effort to understand their needs and put forth the effort to do them. So, this would be making a point to show up and spend time with them and not just buy them gifts. While gifts are nice if that is not what they value, then you have to make a point to meet your partner’s needs and not do things your own way.
Looking at the research on connections and investing time it really supports how much being intentional is necessary to have a healthy marriage. According to Johnson et al. (2022) the study that was completed found that couples that practice healthy communication had a greater relationship satisfaction rate. This makes sense because when you spend time with your partner and really focus on them and communicate with them in a respectful manner it helps to build the connections between the two individuals. Life happens so when things come up and we lose sight of what we know we should be doing there are great tools to help pull us back together. According to Mendoza and Leeth (2025) Emotion Focused Therapy can be a great tool to help work on communication and emotional connection by helping to teach healthy communication patterns and responsive interactions. The more you build emotional safety through using the tools, spending quality time, and being intentional with one another you create a safe space for both people to be vulnerable and create lasting change.
From a Christian perspective, spending time and being intentional in marriage is the way that God designed marriage. According to Ecclesiastes 4:9–10 (New International Version, 2011), " Two are better than one, because they can help each other succeed and support one another in times of trouble." The bible teaches us to love our spouse as Christ loved the church and gave His life for it. We must make our spouse a priority even when life gets hard. We must be intentional about making room for them in our lives. The consistency of it will help to create a strong foundation and will help keep us strong even when things start to get in the way. We will be able to hold one another accountable and communicate in a manner that will help the marriage last.
**References**
Jiao, C., Yun, H. J., Turner, K., et al. (2026). Strengthening relationships: The role of quality time and perceived perspective-taking in resolving conflicts among married couples.
_Contemporary Family Therapy, 48_, 147–158.
[https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10591-025-09760-0](https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10591-025-09760-0)
Johnson, M. D., Lavner, J. A., Mund, M., Zemp, M., Stanley, S. M., Neyer, F. J., Impett, E. A., Rhoades, G. K., Bodenmann, G., Weidmann, R., Bühler, J. L., Burriss, R. P., Wünsche, J., & Grob, A. (2022). Within-couple associations between communication and relationship satisfaction over time.
_Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 48_(4), 534–549.
[https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/01461672211016920](https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/01461672211016920)
Mendoza, A., & Leeth, C. K. (2025). A relational approach to emotionally focused therapy.
_The Family Journal, 33_(3), 331–337.
[https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/10664807251318969](https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/10664807251318969)
Lebow, J.L., & Snyder, D.K. (2023). Clinical handbook of couple therapy (6th ed.). New York, NY: The Guilford Press. ISBN: 9781462550128.
Chapman, G. (2015). The 5 Love Languages: The secret to love that lasts. Chicago: Northfield Publishing. ISBN: 9780802412706
The Holy Bible, New International Version. (2011). Zondervan.